Chapter 5 – Growing Up

The next few months passed by in a blur of activity. After that night at prom with Michael, we realized that what we shared was the kind of love only found in fairy tales. I still look back at the day that Michael let me in, and while his story is tragic I still smile. That was the moment I think I fell in love with him. He grew up in an atmosphere that shunned love and growing, and yet he became a beautiful person. At Prom he was so carefree while twirling me around the dance floor, and when we won Prom King and Queen, we were so stunned they actually had to lead us to the stage to accept. The thought that our peers loved us enough to vote for us, was truly touching. And now with graduation looming nearer we had some things to talk about.

“Michael, what are your plans after you graduate? Do you have something in mind?” He was doodling on his homework while we sat at the table. “I am not sure, I have kind of always wanted to be a cop, you know, to put criminals behind bars. But I am not sure if they would take me.” I stared at him then, and saw what was behind his eyes, doubt.

“Michael, you are not your parents. You are separate people, and you are good, to the core.” He shifted in his chair to look at me, “Well I am certain of one thing. I want to be where ever you are Madds.”

I was ecstatic! I had been worried that after we graduated he would want to go back to the city, and I would have gone with him if he wanted until a week ago. Gam had told me that when I turn eighteen, my parents’ estate becomes mine. I was about to come into a large sum of money that would help establish my future, and I knew what I was going to do with it. She also informed me that my mom’s old childhood home in Appaloosa Plains would become mine as well. Gam had been renting it out all these years, and it was vacant now. It was a ranch, and I had always wanted to be a Veterinarian. To be able to own horses and start my own clinic is something I have always dreamed about, and now it was possible. Everything was going to plan, but I don’t know if I could have left without Michael. “I am planning on moving to Appaloosa Plains, my family has a ranch there and I want to take care of animals.” He smiled and said, “I just have one question, can I be a cop there?” I breathed out a sigh of relief, and slapped his arm. “You my dear, will make an awesome Sheriff of Appaloosa Plains.”

We laughed the rest of the afternoon away, planning china patterns and other first place items.

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The day of graduation I felt nerves that I didn’t even know existed. I wasn’t just closing this chapter on school and childhood days, I was moving on to the next phase in my life. Right before I was putting on the cap and gown, Gam came into my bedroom and gave me a present.

“Now Madison, I wanted you to have something before you left, I have been holding on to this for a while, and I was just waiting for the right time to give it to you. It’s from your mom, and I think she would want you to have it today.” She handed me a package, kissed my forhead, and walked out of the room. I opened the box to find a necklace and a letter. I set the necklace down to read.

My dearest Daughter,

I am so sorry that I am not there with you right now, but know that I love you with all my heart. I am so proud of the woman you have become, and always will be. Please know that I would never leave you on purpose, and whatever took me away, know that I fought it as hard as I could. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but you were never one of them. You are perfect; don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. It breaks my heart now knowing that if you are reading this then I am not there to watch you shine. But I promise that I always be there with you in spirit, watching over you, protecting you, and loving you. If you ever need me, I will be there. I left my locket with Gam to give to you. It has been passed down through generations, and I had hoped to be there to do it myself like Gam did with me, but this letter will have to suffice. Hopefully one day you will give it your daughter to remind her of her roots, and where she came from. I love you daughter, and I will see you again.

Love always, in this world and the next, Mom

As I stared at the letter in my hands, I realized that I was crying. I was overwhelmed with happiness that my mom still had the ability to surprise me, even in death. I was sad, because I wanted her here with me so badly that at times I thought I couldn’t breathe. But in the end, I just stood up, and asked mom if she would be there for me at graduation. I wanted her to see what her baby was doing with her life; and that she was happy.

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After packing my bags, it seemed real. I was leaving Gams. I was going to be moving to a new city. And I was moving in with Michael. All of these thoughts kept running through my mind. I was happy, anxious, scared, ready… What if we weren’t ready? What if what we had was high school love, not real life love? I had never been with anyone else besides him. We weren’t married. I just didn’t know. Then I heard him calling my name and somehow none of that mattered. When he smiled at me I still felt that spark from the first day that we met. It didn’t matter that I was unsure about us, because I was sure about him. When I met him at Gams door, he pulled me outside to where we had that talk so long ago. He seemed shaky, and I thought that maybe he was having seconds thoughts as well. He pulled me along and then suddenly he stopped.

Without looking at me, he spoke, “Madison Miller, this is the spot where I bared my soul to you. This is the spot where I thought no matter how good you were, you could never accept me for who I am. This is the same spot where I knew that I loved you and I knew we would spend the rest of our lives together. So, it seems appropriate that it should be the spot where I ask you to be mine.”

He dropped on one knee then, and looked up at me with a smile on his face. “Madison Miller, will you marry me?”

I couldn’t believe that moment’s ago, I was wondering if he had cold feet about moving in together, when in reality he was scared about proposing!

In a voice that sounded nothing like me, I confidently said, “Michael Rancik, this is the spot where you let me into your soul. This is the spot where I knew that I would love you forever. This is also the spot where I said, yes, I will marry you!”

I accepted the ring and he hugged me so tight I thought I would explode. After that we said goodbye to Gam, which was harder than I thought it would be. I wasn’t just saying goodbye to her, but to this house where so many wonderful memories were made, the little girl who not so long ago felt defeated and alone, and also to my old life. I am so thankful that I had Gam to take me in when I was broken, and she nourished me back to health. I could not imagine where I would be without her.

“I love you so much Gam. Thank you for everything.” I whispered as we hugged each other one last time. “Now listen here doll, I love you too. And don’t you worry about me, I will be just fine. Now hurry up, you got a long drive ahead of ya, and you’re keeping that hunk of burning love waiting!” We laughed and waved goodbye as I took one last look at the house that became my safe haven and sqeezed my fiance’s hand as we drove off into the sunset towards our future.